Enter the Circle

Author: Bryanna Campbell, PsyD

September 6, 2022

Recently I have been settling into new roles in my life and like clockwork, my impostor feelings have been creeping in. Have these questions ever popped up for you?

 "Do I know enough?"

"Do I actually know what I think I know?"

"Did I imagine everything?"

"What am I really doing?"

Instead of letting the hamster wheel keep turning, I decided to interrupt myself and do the unthinkable – share my fears with others instead of withdrawing. I have noticed that one of the best remedies to shame is connecting with safe people. I call them my circle. They are my group of chosen people who support me, pour into me, and tell me the truth with love and my best interest at heart. They hold me accountable and hold the mirror to me when I need it. In the past few months, I have been able to visit and talk with the members of my circle and I can honestly say I feel full of warmth. These are the people I have been the most vulnerable with and shared my accomplishments, failures, and everything in between. No matter what I show them, I am still enough. There is nothing to prove. That feeling is so powerful and reassuring on the days that impostor feelings or perfectionism start to creep in.

To be real with you, there are days that I wonder if anything I do actually makes a difference or has any meaning. I am reminded of my significance when I finally sit and reflect alone as well as when I connect with my family, both biological and chosen. I continue to push myself to connect with vulnerability rather than wallow in fear and shame.

I share this with you to say this: I know that it can be hard out here sometimes. Showing up for ourselves authentically every day is an act of courage that is often overlooked. I encourage you to name and connect with your circle, wherever they may be. Many of us walk around not knowing the profound impact we have on the people around us – myself included. Intentional connection with others can completely shift the way you see and approach things.

To my circle:

I see you.

I honor you.

I appreciate you.

My circle has been growing lately and I am truly grateful.

Reflection Questions for you to consider:

Who are the people in your life that you don’t have to “perform” with?

How will you connect with your circle this week?

Say these with me:

I am worthy of a genuine connection with others.

I do not need to perform perfection to have a meaningful connection with others.

If connection has been hard in the past, I can change that.

There are safe people that I can connect with.

I can overcome limiting thoughts and beliefs that hold me back.

Vulnerability (with safe people) is a strength.

Till next time.